God Help Us: Bali Nine Pray

Rush says he prays almost every night, reciting the Lord's Prayer and saying his Hail Marys. Many pray for him, too. His priest in Brisbane, Father Tim Harris, and his parishioners do so every Sunday. Father Frank Brennan, the Jesuit priest, and Bishop Silvester of Denpasar have been visitors.

But he is afflicted by a stubborn melancholy. Rush cannot stop blaming himself and hates being locked up. Even after five years, he can't get used to the place.

''It feels abnormal here. I feel disconnected. It's a big struggle,'' he says. ''But I've f---ed up and I'm inside.''

Rush describes Kerobokan as ''pretty laid back'' compared with others Asian prisons. He appreciates the emphasis on rehabilitation under the new governor, Siswanto, who introduced the English-language church services a few months ago.

''It's just hard to find people, other prisoners, to trust … and that's what makes it worse.''

While Rush frets, Chan is boisterous about his spirituality. He beams when relating his favourite analogy of faith, relayed in a broad ocker accent..

''You know how you can go into those shopping malls and you see them sliding doors. The ones that just open automatically,'' he says.

''Now, let's say there's a door over there. If I stood here, would it open? Nah. I can scream at it, I can yell at it, I can do whatever I want.

''[But] if I walk towards it, it will open … We have to walk in our faith and that means praying and spending time with the Lord.

''By doing that, you know, doors start to open.''